You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
I HATE DRINKING WITH JUST GIRLS, ITS 1030 THEYRE ALL HAMMERED AND TALKING ABOUT HOW AWESOME THEIR SHOES ARE!!!!!!!
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Oh God! I'm naked from the waist down playing records. Too drunk. I don't even know what to do.
Balls out but with a shirt on. Eating ravioli. I don't know how to deal with this.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
I think I'm just going to up-end a bottle of wine and look through pictures of what my life used to be.
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
