Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
I am honored my friend, to hold the decision of what enters your body
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I feel like I beer bonged a ton of asbestos
My lighter is stuck in my beard.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I had to cum in my sink.
you were huddled over the toilet, throwing up, and every few seconds you'd look up and say "this is such a waste of vodka" then put your head back down and start puking again
Randomize
