Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
I take back all the times I've said life was unfair. I'm about to have two trained bartenders for a girlfriend and roommate
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
We hooked up with 2 friends last night as always and she stole their fucking cocaine and I just had to drive to their house and make her give it back to him hahshshahahah only me
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
Apparently I have decided there are no repercussions for my actions
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
he's single and there are thong briefs.
Randomize
