Did you see the soccer ref give that girl the red card as she was being kicked out of the party?
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize
