I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said bring my breathalyzer and Anna's pepper spray, I didn't ask questions
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
It's something you'd find in the room outside of Ben Carson's sex dungeon
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
i'm not sure what you are doing right now, but i know that i don't like it. whatever you are doing. just stop. come here so we can fuck
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize