im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
Not too sure about the toy story pull ups. The kids point to their crotch all day and say woody.
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
WAIT DID YOU MAIL ME A KITTEN
Well I checked the bush outside his apartment building this morning, and he wasn't there... So I knew he was home.
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
