Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
I just found a babydoll head in my sink where we ripped it off and did shots out of it.
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Just met another girl you fucked but this time in seattle. Your cock gets almost as much mileage as jet blue. Anaheim and seattle both say hi, figured you don't remember their names.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
Heeyy... sorry I got so drunk. You probably don't ever want to see me again. Thank you for dealing with me when I tried to jump over the deli counter for some mayonnaise.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
