he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
He just kept yelling "body massage machine go" at random intervals throughout the night
some bitch filled my sink with salsa.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
I think you're my mermaid sister. Separated at birth, by sea.
My cousin is passed out in my room, so I just masturbated in my walk-in closet. Apparently I get off on danger. Make note of that.
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
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