Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
There should be a promo code on the Papa Johns website for "I have no moneys but if you send a cute delivery guy I will pay him in blow jobs."
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I'm at that point in my life where stripping isn't the worst thing I would do for money
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Drunk text the hot guy two doors down confessing my love for him.... He gave me a thank you card today.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
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