spell your last name, im trying to find you on facebook
Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
first day of class and my professor asked me if i was going to come to class drunk all semester.
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
Don't underestimate her when she starts going by "the vodka queen"
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
That's why we don't trade sex for Taco Bell. It's called the dollar menu.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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