god i wish i could take a shit and a shower at the same time
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Yeah you insisted everyone watch Space Jam at 2 in the morning then you cried the whole way through it. You were the very worst kind of drunk.
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
I think my body knows it's dying and is just shutting down
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
