ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I'm gonna sleep with her just to prove to my roomate that shes a slut and he's wasting his time
I think the best part was when you jumped over me naked.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
You walked up to a random girl on the street and asked her for a bite of her pizza...
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
i black out too much to be "responsible"
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
