so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I have just two goals for this NYE. 1) get so drunk that every guy looks like Clive Owen 2) make out with as many Clive's as possible.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Simultaneously sexting while making brunch plans. Multitasking at its gayest.
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
why did you put a dildo on the ceiling fan
the dildo had a suction cup and we had a ceiling fan what did you expect?
Is it possible for mice to climb? If so I think mice are climbing into my bed in the night and playing with my hair..
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize
