What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
He is now the second fuck buddy that i have met by walking up and grinding on him. My ass is so much more productive than dating
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
You're about to fuck a guy with a sweatshirt tied around his waist like a mensurating 13 year old. Get your priorities straight, you're graduating tomorrow.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
How do you not remember?? She kept putting a dollar on her waistband and insisting it was all you can eat under a dollar
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
Did my extra credit for a class I badly need to pass at the bar of Friday's.. kind of sum's up my college career. Got a 90 though.
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