3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
Oh shit. Easter I forgot. Maybe we should leave the illegal stuff for when Jesus is less present.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
Tell your boyfriend I'm sorry for ruining his vein. I'm never drawing blood drunk again.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
It's been THREE DAYS. Why do I still have the munchies?!
Randomize