Do you think Capital One would let me put the Tub Girl picture on my Capital One card?
Beat you to it.
shes got a 6th sense for me cheating...the the hailey joel osmound of me getting bjs
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Haha crisis adverted. Just told my dad I need to bone this guy. Nbd. He totes understands
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
All I have in my purse is 10 cents and a plastic ducky.\nI can't explain last night.
Randomize
