dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
there is no 'pace myself' on the blackout express
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can't tell if your life is amazing or needs reevaluation when "did I get hit with a nightstick" is a legitimate question.
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
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