Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
The idiot babysitter thought my dildo was a teething toy and gave it to our child.
Did you put it in the freezer again?
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
i'm high and 74% sure there's a monster in my closet
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
New term. "Find a husband" fridays. It's like thirsty thursdays, but with a dowry.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
He radiates elegant sexual dominance. I bet even his balls have pinstripes.
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