How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Pants are for mortals
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
I woke up and couldn't find her. She had somehow managed to get into the closet and lock herself in. She was crying for her boyfriend. Thirsty Thursday at its finest
Randomize