Old men and throwing up are my life now.
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
She had a belly button piercing in the shape of a cross. Talk about mixed messages.
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
She is either doing really drawn out crunches or trying to sniff her boobs...She's lying on her back with her hand behind her head, forcing her head into the cleavage that's ok to expose and then moves her head back and then does it again.
Randomize
