Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Oh you're gonna love this story. I almost cut off a little girl's pony tail.
sorry can't. you know Saturday is the masturbating day for single sorority girls here.
She face-timed me on the toilet. My dick is never going to recover from that.
No Robbie is the name of a kid or dog, not an adult man who's fucking you.
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Last night apparently I said "I need a break" and then I just passed the fuck out for 3 hours
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Randomize
