why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Suddenly I feel like all I did this summer was have sex in our apartment
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
