I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
btw, your gf is going to want to talk to you today...and consequently you're probably not going to want to talk to me...just a heads up
yeah so this exboyfriend of yours reckons you're still together and he punched me in the face cos i slept with you last week. you might wanna have a word with him or at a minimum change your facebook status.
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
Is it penis luge time yet?
Finished my senior thesis. How am I celebrating you ask? By drinking gas station white zif out of an empty candle holder by myself. I fucking deserve to graduate.
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
