yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
This bowl of cereal would be the size of a giant's bowl-piece. It's. that. big.
How much did you smoke??
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Randomize
