I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
it was frightening. in my opinion the only thing that should resemble a vagina is a vagina.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
For some reason I just don't think you going to the gay bar alone on thanksgiving is a good idea.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
One day, tell me please to stop buying shots when I'm overwhelmed. I might have just broken a tooth
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
Randomize
