her cat watched me eat her out... I would use the alternate term for both of those things but it's too weird.
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
He struggled for a second trying to unhook my bra and I said "4/10. Novice."
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
You have GOT to stop kicking in his kitchen door. Just wait for him to open it next time.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
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