is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Its like drunk me is Oprah except instead of a car everyone's award is seeing my boobs
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
Also, your girlfriend apologized to me about yesterday. That was nice of the cunt.
Randomize
