He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
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