Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
She took one look at my hardon and said, "You have a dick built for anal."
That wasn't a compliment.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
He sent me a picture of his dick saying "your throne my lady" for my birthday. He knows the way to my heart.
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I'm a shining star this evening. Dancing with a cane in rite aid now. I should be kept under survaillance.
I hope you know, that by sending me a cat meme back, you've entered in a cat picture battle; which never has an end in sight.
The duel has begun.
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
