how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
The reality is I'm 24 and I have terminal breast cancer. Fuck yeah I'm going have sex with every hot guy I can. What, am I gonna worry about getting an STD or pregnant at this point? If I'm gonna die, I want to have any many big dicks as I can while I'm still able.
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I was intimate with him for twenty minutes and will be intimate with shame for twenty years.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
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