You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
if they reproduce, their children will be the worst quarters players ever
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
I just realized my life is a timeline of drunken injuries.
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I put ketchup in a girls hair last night. I need a sorry balloon
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Ok, stop saying "youths." You're 23.
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
You remember my neighbor with the perfect ass? It's even better in assless chaps.
Randomize
