Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Welll when you have a beer at 8:30 am you've already decided whaat kind of Sunday it ism
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Randomize
