well tonys high enough to be moving from spot to spot around the kitchen shooting tortellini into a boiling pot and yelling "KING JAMES" whether he makes or misses it.
I had a great penis washing session in the sink before I left. Washed off all the bar and green beer
Apparently after taking body shots off of a guy i haven't seen since 1st grade, i ate a stick of butter, showed everyone my tampon string, and fell off the boat. my uggs belong to the sea now
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
My TA is here with a sombrero and an entire bottle of Svedka. Skip jury duty.
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
all I remember is them saying he had a big dick and the next thing I know I’m leaving with him
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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