All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
apparently i tried to put my coat in the microwave.
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apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Now all we have to do is pretend we haven't seen each other naked. Work tomorrow is going to be FUN.
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Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I love you so much and not just because your dick is perfect
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