He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
She kept telling the ambulance to sit down and then started crying when we told her it couldn't hear her
Apparently after awhile self preservation trumps libido. This is new news to me.
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I can't handle more than one dick at once. I become crazy. It's hard to be mellow and free spirited and polygamous at the same time.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
