I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I couldn't help thinking that my sock monkey was judging me
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
Randomize
