i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
My sister was borrowing my phone when the sext came through. She just said "wow. He's got a nice dick!" Then went on like nothing happened. Outed by a dick pic and its no big deal. Best sister ever.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
For whatever reason, whenever she's drunk off Crown, all she wants to do is jerk me off with her feet.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Randomize
