She is totes cute on her twitter. Which totally sounds like a euphemism for coot.
never have phone sex with a hardcore republican during this health care crisis . just dont.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
He said my labia gave my vagina a "cute personality"
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
