You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
...so i touched it.
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He has a chalkboard tally in his bathroom of "Me vs. Toilet". He's losing.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
DON'T LET IAN EAT HIS PEANUT BUTTER!!!
Just remembered that I poured a whole bottle of tylenol in there. It's chunky. It's deadly.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
The last thing I remember was riding in a grocery cart with two strangers while a cop pushed us
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Had dinner with a married woman but didn't have sex with her. Tweeted at Mike Pence to apologize anyway.
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