hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I just answered "If only I knew" for a quiz in criminology, she loved it. I got an A
maybe we can find two twins tonight and bang them together and then my life is complete
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
is pulling out brownies in the middle of class on 4/20 just too obvious?
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Randomize
