I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
She guessed my name 9 times, and 5 of those times she guessed Mike. Figured that'd be an easy target for the night.
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
There's a wake for a coworker on 420 during te time of 420... Hoping everyone will be too sad to notice how high I am.
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Thanksgiving day drinking ended up with me in a shopping cart screaming where are the bitches and condoms. I'd say it went well.
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
Randomize
