It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
we used the fire extinguisher you had been cuddling with to decorate the cop car while they were inside arresting everyone
Brownies hit. And just found beer. And the bill cosby show is on. And its in spanish.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
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