I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
How do you have time to get laid so much in law school?
I like to set goals for myself. for example, he was my first libertarian
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
I'm gonna take my bong and hot box the pirate ship in the daycare playground.
Whatever she smells like compost and feathers.
I believe they call that patchouli.
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Randomize
