That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
Don't pretend like we're functional. We're gonna discuss this drunkenly via text the way serious conversations should take place.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
