Why do you apologize after every time we have sex?
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
her and i fucked to a michael jackson song and she had it memorized so she squealed every time he did
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
I just hate that one day I'll have to tell our children how we met, makes me look like a gold digging whore
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I need to align my fucking chakras
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
Randomize
