Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
theres no point in washing my sheets anymore. its always going to be a fine layer of booze and semen.
Found an earplug stuck to the inside of my thigh this afternoon. Just how much noise were we making?
Do you not remember you showing everyone in the bathroom your period stained underwear? I'd say you were pretty happy it came
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
He made a playlist to use during sex...that ended with The Ultimate Warrior's entrance music.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Need advice bro. Which one should I take: the blonde devil crying in the corner or the brunette crawling on the floor acting like a dinosaur??
Do not ever chug tabasco sauce.
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
Randomize
