I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I have bits of ceiling fan all over now
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
Randomize
