Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Did you see that girl I got with last night?
Girl? Oh...weird...to be honest Ive always thought you were gay..
Woke up in an unfamiliar basement in a sleeping bag with Matt to a police officer shining his flashlight in my eyes and asking me my birth date and social security number. My morning went swimmingly.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I received a text promising me sex if I drove to Memphis this weekend. Too bad for my penis that we're watching zombie movies and playing cards.
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
Lube filled water balloons always make for a good time
you were so blacked last night that you jumped in the lake fully clothed, then just went back to the bar and walked around like you weren't soaking wet.
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
You ate ashes out of my bong
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
