Let me tell you a story about the rise and fall of my self esteem
I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
at this point every shot is just a haymaker to my liver
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
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