I wish they had nachos that got you drunk
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Dude, i just watched a drag queen dropkick a motherfucker. this is a good night.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
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