It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
I had to drink heavily last night because I needed to forget that you told me you want to blow my dad.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
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