You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
woke up with food on the counter from chipotle, taco bell, green cactus, and on the border take out. explain?
you were trying to get this Spanish chick to sleep with you. you were showing her how much you "loved her native food."
Its piss that you smell... I borrowed that shirt last week. Sooo, wanna grab some laundry soap on your way home? And good luck on your date.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I'm serious. My alarm label is "BAR TABS" as motivation for me to wake up in the morning and go to work.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
i need to put some appletini on your dick
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Randomize
