New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
So I just used shazaam to figure out a pairs figure skating song. I don't think I could get any gayer.
I just don't have the heart to tell my mom you peed in our washer machine last night.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
She ate the cookie then went to the emergency room. Now her fam is pressing charges. Don't people understand you DON'T steal baked goods from potheads??
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
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