I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
You were dancing with a coffee pot of rum in one hand and a joint in the other. So that should explain everything.
No. I'm laying on the floor naked. I almost made it to the shower
This could be the definition of living by yourself
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
You just kept yelling GET YOUR SKATES ON, BITCHES. WE'RE GOING STREAKING.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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