Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I woke up wearing no shirt sleeping next to a half-eaten grilled cheese.
Well did you call the grilled cheese yet? Or r u waiting the usual 3 days?
Ok so my english teacher told me i could have 5 absences bc of my "problem". I have no idea what she is talking about
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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