The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
Btw...pregnancy boobs are amazing. I don't recommend pregnancy in general but the boobs are good.
I bruised my vagina when I was climbing out of the trash can.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
