why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
Let the record show that the first hour of my twenty-first was spent shooting tequila ans discussing the emotional integrity of werewolves.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
Randomize
