this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
last night this guy was hitting on me by showing me the famous people he had in his contacts on his cell... when he asked me if i knew lindsay lohan, i said "whose that? sounds asian"
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
the guy was wearing a viagra shirt, i knew what i got myself into.
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
I met this girl the other day and found out her boyfriend is a helicopter pilot. How the fuck do you compete with that.
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
A penis isn't a time share. I want to own not rent.
He still texted me and invited me over a day later so I guess I'm the lovable kind of psycho
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
Randomize
